Posts tagged: ana

ughhh okay so i ate a huge bag of skittles and i feel like shit and this is why i need someone to keep my fat ass in line.  pleaseeee i need a  buddy to kik/text.

i want to be a girl who can lay on him, sit on his lap, and not have to worry about whether i weigh too much.  he tells me i’m “like two pounds” but still… i’ve gained since then.  

Looking for a kik or texting buddy!!

I need someone to help keep me on track, I’m super serious about losing weight right now.  I gained everything I’d lost in the summer over winter break and I feel super fat.  I’m quitting soda, fried foods, white bread, and candy.  I need someone to encourage me to work out and eat right, but someone to also be rough with me and get on my ass about this shit!!  Anyone interested???  Send something to my ask and we’ll talk a little on there and I’ll then give you my kik/phone number (whichever you prefer).

nope nope nope nope nope nope

gotta get thin when i get back to school.  i am so fucking fat.

djbfjsdfbre okay i’m back again

i’ve been at school and i was doing well, working out n such, but still eating shitty, and i didn’t work out at all last week and i can tell i gained.  so to get me back on track, i’m starting the skinny girl diet!

so day 1: 400 calories

breakfast:  Tim Horton’s donut w/ sprinkles (220)

lunch: grilled cheese on wheat bread (192), apple

dinner:  shredded cheddar cheese (14), lettuce, spinach, chicken patty (200), curly fries (120)

intake:  746

exercise: walking upstairs 4 minutes (-30), walking 3.0 mph 20 minutes (-63), elliptical 25 minutes (-257)

Net: 396

The next few days I hope to do it by intake rather than by net.  wanna work out twice tomorrow.

sorry i’ve been gone :(

i started losing more weight, though!  i’m officially 129 pounds.  

also, i think i might fast tomorrow.  i just feel like i’m starting to lose my self control and i need to get it back together.

i’d be posting this on mfp, but i stupidly added one of my irl friends and i can notttt let her know i’m fasting.

if you want to add me on mfp (my fitness pal), i’m on there every day.  logicallythin.

Also, i’m a size 4 in jeans as of yesterday :)

so success 

A little update since I haven’t been here in a while

Since I was last on here, things have changed a bit.

I kept slipping down into this slippery slope of

"eat as little calories as possible"

"how many calories are in that"

"400?  you fat pig"  

"exercise, exercise, exercise.  you must burn off EVERYTHING."

"don’t eat"

"you want your net to be negative, don’t you?"

And I just got really anxious about food and my weight, and it just got really bad.  I tried fasting once or twice with just water.  The most recent of those tries was Wednesday.  And on Wednesday, I was doing pretty well, I hadn’t  succumbed to eating at work, yadda yadda.  So I was hoping to just go home after work and stay in my room and tell my mom I ate at work.  

My mom picked me up and said that the Realtor was still showing our house and wouldn’t be done for another hour.  She asked if I wanted to go to Applebees and get something to eat, but I told her I ate a bit at work, to which she said, “we’ll just get dessert, then!”  I kinda grimaced and shrugged and was like “I dunno.”  So we ran a few errands instead.  I thought I was in the clear, until she pulled into Applebees and insisted on the dessert, even though the Realtor was probably gone or about to be gone.  There really was no way for me to get out of it.  I told her I only wanted a few bites of something, she told me I could take the rest home.  

I caved and ordered a chocolate molten cake (800 motherfucking calories.).  I muttered something about how I really hadn’t wanted to eat anything for the rest of the day, and she told me I had to stop starving myself.  I insisted that I wasn’t, but as I dwelled on the 800 calories in front of me, tears came to my eyes.  That’s right, I was about to fucking cry over 800 stupid calories.  I was about to cry over breaking my fast.  I was about to cry over this and it was fucking dumb, and I knew it.

I laid in bed that night super depressed, as I had been the past few nights as well.  I couldn’t figure out why I felt like that.  Then I realized it was connected to me stressing so much over food.  Over starving.

Thursday morning, I decided to make some changes.  I looked up the 30 Day Shred, and I thought to myself, “Exercising and eating healthy, that’s the right way to do it, right?  Lose fat, build muscle, and maintain nutrients and energy.”

So that’s what I’m trying.  I’m eating 3 healthy meals a day, I changed my calorie goal from 1000 to 1200, and I’m on day 3 of the 30 Day Shred.  I still want to lose weight so bad.  That is still my main goal.  But I didn’t get any results from what I was doing before.  I’m already starting to feel what I’m doing now in my muscles.

I think this is a positive change, and I’m so happy.

Cass got herself some collarbonesssssss.  Sorta, at least :3  First picture is them just normal, second is me sticking them out.  I’m proud of them, I didn’t even realize they were there until like a week ago.

Going to an amusement park tomorrow

So I’m water fasting until then.

2/19

And I’m off to work :)

I also looked up some thigh work outs this morning and I’m really excited about them ^w^

Sorry I’ve been MIA.

I’ve had to work every day this week :1
On the plus side though, I made it down to 130 pounds!!! I’m so happy, because I was stuck at like 131-135 for so long. My UGW is 125, maybe less if I’m not happy with it, but I think I will be.
I went to a grad party yesterday and a few of my friends commented on how skinny Ive gotten. One of them swears I’ve lost 5 pounds since I’ve last seen her, which was in June so maybe? I dunno. She asked me all about my exercise routine and such cuz she wants to lose too.
It was a good feeling.
Also, I’ve been hanging out more on My Fitness Pal. I’m logicallythin, add me if you’ve got one!